14/6/2025
Julian Grimm, the first of his name, all know that in his heart he be game A gamer, a blamer, a second hand lion tamer, all know that his mane be the main boy than tainer Tainergs Maloney, he ruffles and runs, he snuffles and puffles he’s a snufflealapug
But Julian Grimm is the man of the hour, he’s faster than butter, he’s quick he ain’t sour He runs and he gallops through hoops and on horses, and all know his women are virginal they aren’t whor-es. In Abu Dhabi he cracked the bank, he shook hands and made deals and got oil on his back Green energy, Athenian refugees all knowst he makst love whilst cho-king. And ”tis the hour, in which he comports, to wage for environments, or maybe wield torts To join a PMC, look carefully, at Indigenous land rights and batteries with glee With an army of virtual assistants strung in his wake, and pinked hair blonde PA’s whose booties they do shake.
He’s wielding a fairy floss web of power, but back to the topic, the man of the hour With a shock of gold hair, and a devilish grin, if I’m betting on anyone, it’s J-Grimm to Win. With t-shirts, with wooden balisongs, with big schlongs and all, give me Julian Grimm, some rubberband, and we’ll rob a mall. He’s dabbin, he’s crabbin, he’s pick ‘em up and put ‘em down stabbin’ He’s readin’ he’s writing, articles on World Trade, on free market economics, while swingin’ his wooden blade. He’s boulderin’, he’s smoulderin, and the purpose of this rap is to celebrate his getting olderin’
When I first met him, he was up climbing branches, now he swinging through biddies and he got ‘em in tranches On horseback or not you know he be lancin’, turn up the music up this man he be dancin’ Prancin, cranberries, everybody know that he gettin merry, slerry, up derry, like the girls That he twirls, when he gives ‘em a glass o’ sherry, but back to the case, you know he fast, he speedy You know when he text girls he don’t get too attached, not too involved, don’t get needy International relations, Abu Dhabi, models, parties in castles, high elevators, no see ya laters, everybody know he makes no enemies, makes no haters.
He running 5 ks in under 20 mins, he’ll ask you boutchor travel stories, to get his ins He looking for a bad bitch bisexual to ruin his life, except he accidentally keeps making them his wife Give him the pink hair, and the lighter on the tongue, he’ll choke ‘em on the fold out, he’ll show you some fun He’ll give you some truth-telling maize to cheer you up when you glum Hell yeah, call that some veritable corn o’ copium
A warrior-scholar, a poet wielder of the law Thanks for all the good years, Happy Birthday And here’s to many more.
Much much love, From,
Your friend, Samuel